Another aspect of writing which can trip up the beginner and often betrays their lack of experience is characterisation. I suspect that people are too fixated on appearance (in life as well!) and feel that once they have covered hair/eyes/complexion/colouring/natural beauty everything is done and dusted. Although this can be a part of portraying somebody, it is only a very small part, a first impression which quickly seems incidental and almost beside the point.
You need to add plenty of detail. By this I don't mean cramming in some kind of curriculum vitae (although all this information needs to be inside your head as you write). Every action you hero or heroine undertakes should reveal something about them. When they make a cup of tea do they do it distractedly, messily, fussily, in a terrible rush -- or do they bung the teabag in a cup and then forget about it for twenty minutes? The same applies to the way they cross the road, or make love - you need to provide masses of context to begin with.
In your first draft I would include all of this kind of detail - it's a way for you to find out about your hero and what makes them tick. In addition to showing us how they behave, you can add in information about how they speak, what they think, and how other people see them. By the time you have included all of this your narrative will be groaning under the weight of it all, but then it is time to start the process of distillation (see my previous post.....)
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